The view of the famous French neuropsychologist Boris Barulnik on how the upbringing of children and the position of youth in society has changed today.

Psychologies: What has changed today in the view of society to raise children?

Boris Barunik: We moved from Oedipus culture to the culture of Narcissus. In other words, from a society that appreciates self -sacrifice to a society that appreciates self -realization. Thus, now they say to the child not “when you grow up, you will become like a dad, or you will become a mother as a mother”, but “you have only one life, and this is the main thing. It is necessary that you achieve success in it, so that you master the profession in which you could realize it, so that you will give birth to children if you want, but not too much so that they do not drive you crazy ”.

Will the life of those who are brought up in this way become happier?

B. C.: Narcissus is happy, this is happiness. at first time. But, according to the myth, Narcissus drowned, but in reality we see how terrible narcissistic wounds appear. I remember one young patient, brilliant and beautiful, who told me: “I’m worse than shit!”-due to the fact that he did not enter the Pedagogical Institute.

Do young people really need misfortune to evaluate themselves realistically?

B. C.: Test – not misfortune – this is the condition for gaining identity. It is necessary to know oneself. It is for this reason that in all cultures invented tests for youth, the rituals of initiation. Nowadays they have disappeared – and I think that the reason for the dysfunction of the young people in this, at least, partially. Drugs, alcohol, fights of football fans after matches – not only hooligans indulge in all this. These are young people who die of boredom and seek to find tests for themselves. In poor countries, you will not see such risky manifestations, but in our daily culture all this is ways to compensate for the lack https://www.alfain.de/axe-500-in-generator-h20/ of rituals that were previously proposed by society.

Are there any safer ways of self -affirmation?

B. C.: Our society should invent new (and not stupid – neither war, nor sadistic hazing is needed) rituals of admission to the group. The Americans are trying to find them again: they arrange a ceremony in which the young man stands on the table, tells what he committed, throws his hat, and t.P. This is a simple ceremony, and nevertheless, for these young people, time is divided into before it and after.

Does this mean that society should call citizens to abandon personal comfort?

B. C.: The desire to happiness and comfort is an obvious, indisputable progress. To take risks is not to want this comfort anymore. In a society where there is no respect for risk, where from the age of 18 they think about pensions and strive to be protected from all sides, people have a paradoxically develop anxiety: anxiety loss. And it begins with fear of losing its advantages in favor of other people. Of course, we cannot wish for the value of “sacrifice” and no one else cares for self -realization. We can only wait and see what the next “crisis” will offer us.

Boris Boris Cyrolnik) – The famous French psychotherapist, ethologist, founder of the direction of research on human ethology.